Many things 2

Today is an important anniversary. Very important in the history of our country. Four years ago today, our erstwhile president announced an end to major combat operations in Iraq. You can read this gem of a speech here. I'm glad that Bush did such a super job, going in just a year and a half from the worst terrorist attack ever on American soil to winning the war in Iraq, which had obviously been providing support to Al Qaeda. Kudos Bush, kudos. I'm glad that we so quickly took care of terror, with which Iraq was sweeping the civilized nations of the world away.

So let's all take some time today to celebrate the great accomplishments of our great president, who used his extensive, insider knowledge of the military to sweepingly defeat the forces of evil throughout the world, eliminating human rights violations, genocide, starvation, poverty, and other ills that were facing our 21st century society. Bush will go down in history as our greatest commander-in-chief ever, greater than Calvin Coolidge, who was not only a snappy dresser, but also once singlehandedly beat up every criminal in Boston and on another occasion used his laser beam eyes to stop an asteroid from impacting earth, destroying civilization as we know it.

What? None of this ever happened? Damn.